Questions without answers
"May 2, 2006
In some ways time has been rushing by and in other ways it has stood still. When I think that we are approaching the 1st month anniversary of Marilyn’s admittance to the hospital it is hard to believe how long it has been. One day seems to blend into another and time seems to stand still. Wishing, hoping and praying that the pain that is so disabling will subside, I watch as Marilyn begins the incredibly slow process of rehabilitation. Yes, there has been some progress – but it has been so slow and so painful. Today she sat up by herself, stood up (with the help of a lift) beside her bed and did some knee bending exercises. The physiotherapist is happy with the progress but discouragement and fear are still written all over Marilyn’s face.
Will I ever walk again, and why should I even bother make the effort, are questions I hear her ask as she anticipates the dread of tomorrow’s exercise regime. On the other side of the coin, I also see the look of determination as she fights to sit and then stand to face the daily workout. Marilyn’s sweet personality, constant sense of humor and Christian testimony have earned her many new friends among the medical staff. Nurses often drop by or stop me in the corridors to check on her condition. I pray daily that God will help Marilyn focus on her inner strength and overcome her fears.
The visits from family and friends have been so encouraging. Knowing that so many are praying sustains and holds us fast. Thanks for your calls of concern. While watching 100 Huntley Street this morning I was reminded that if God can call each star by name, surely He knows and cares about what we are going through."
Based on the experience of 2 years ago of what Marilyn went through, I know the road ahead will be long and difficult. I pray that God will grant her another opportunity to make the journey again.
Marilyn is hardly ready to begin the trip. At the moment she lies motionless with barely enough energy to even open her eyelids. Her mind constantly drifts in and out of reality as doctors collaborate looking for a new method to counteract her present state of mind and physical condition. Today the decision was made to transfer Marilyn to an intensive care facility in the palliative care unit where she will receive specialized attention. I was pleasantly surprised when the nurse on duty introduced herself to me as one of my former band students and even more pleased to learn that the doctor now in charge of her care was the same kind physician who was instrumental in admitting Marilyn to hospital one month ago.
I know from experience that Marilyn will need every ounce of energy she possesses along with your prayers and the capable guidance of the hospital medical staff to cross the mountain ahead. With God's help we will begin our climb, clutching to his promise in Psalms 23. "Yea though we walk through the valley of the shadow of death, we will fear no evil for you are with us..."
At the moment I have no idea as to how much Marilyn can even comprehend. I believe that she understands and is aware of much of what is happening around her but strong medication has trapped her inside a cloak of confusion and clouded thoughts. We welcome your visits to her bedside. Marilyn's favorite activity comes from visiting with people. Her concern for others far outweighs her worries over her own condition. Feel free to call or drop in for a short visit. Your presence will be sure to energize her spirits. Her new room is located on ward 47 of the Foothills Tom Baker Cancer Center. - 4714 (bed 2)
In God we Trust
Bryon And Marilyn
1 comment:
I am praying for you both. I can only imagine how hard it is for you to endure this again. I know God takes care of my friends and He's sitting with Marilyn through all of this.
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