My heart cries out

Sometimes it is hard to know what to write even though much is bottled up inside. The last few days my time with Marilyn has been limited to only a few minutes each day. Family and friends have been so faithful to be there for the two of us lately even though at times I don't know how I can go on. Marilyn's sweet personality has sifted through the clouds of confusion and drug induced drowsiness often in the last few visits giving me glimmers of hope. So often though, the hope is shattered with the realization of reality. The reality that although radiation treatments have the ability to slow cancer cells, reduce pain and shrink tumors, it can also damage perfectly good normal cells and tissue, sometimes with irreversible consequences.

I wish so much that I could simply gather her up and make all the sickness, suffering and pain disappear but I know that is impossible. Looking around our home I see constant reminders of happy days and try to focus on these moments instead of the harsh facts that I know we must face. Watching Marilyn valiantly struggle fills my mind with questions about our future. Questions I know that will soon need answers If only I could brush aside the negatives and see only the positive, but that isn't possible. I know that some of the lessons we face will need the guidance that only God can give.

Marilyn's smile returned today and her eyes had that familiar dancing twinkle. A home cooked meal supplied by a dear friend seemed to bring back the spark that I thought might be gone forever. The pain that has plagued Marilyn's body seemed not to be an issue for the few moments I was able to spend in the room today. But as I listened to my sister give account of the total days events I knew deep down that what I could see on the surface was not the whole picture. What lurks beneath the surface is a truthful scary reality.

The support I have received through all who have stopped by to read and comment on this blog has been nothing but inspiring to me. It has often given me strength and motivation I needed to face each new day. Thank you all so much for everything that has been done on Marilyn's behalf and please continue to pray. I feel that the days ahead are most crucial. It has amazed me that so many have stopped by for a look and maybe to read. I am sure I don't know all of you nor do I deserve your care. I do know this though - Marilyn has touched many hearts of those she has ministered to over the net. Whether or not she agrees with me - I feel that somehow her efforts are being rewarded by your cares and prayers.

Thanks from the bottom of my heart.
Bryon

PS As of this week the blog has earned over $100 towards the support of the "Children's Garden Orphanage" Thanks for clicking.