On Monday we sat down as a family with doctors and medical staff to discuss "Where do we go from here"? Originally the purpose of the meeting was to collaborate and agree on a lang term care facility to place Marilyn in. The topic of discussion however, took on a different focus due to the deterioration in Marilyn's condition. When only 4 days before we could still converse, now Marilyn could hardly open her eyelids.
The discussion was now concerned with Marilyn's current condition and what was being done and what should be done. Doctors are going to try to reverse the current trend by decreasing narcotics and stabilize her chemical makeup through IV. New concerns have arisen with the possibility of pneumonia entering her lungs. Antibiotics have been started to counteract this possibility along with an effort to reduce the risk of more urinary infections. And of course the general consensus is that marilyn is ino condition to be moved at the moment.
The bottom line remains that Marilyn remains sicker that she has ever been in her life. All is quiet around her bedside with only hushed whispers and her heavy breathing. My heart aches to speak with her and to hear her familiar voice responding. Everyone asks "How are you doing Bryon"? On the outside I remain strong knowing full well that Marilyn is coming near to the end of a victorious race. The finish line beginning to focus on the not so distant horizon. Inside, my heart aches with the thought of letting my sweetheart cross over. I know she has a mansion prepared for her that is filled with others waiting to welcome her into their arms with Jesus standing by to wipe her tears and restore her body whole again. I want the best for her. Nothing more, nothing less.
For me it is hard. Hard to know where to turn, what to think, how to react. It is Tuesday morning September 16 2008 10 AM. My mind is numb. The picture of Marilyn is etched in my brain, so weak and fragile. I know where she is headed is a far better place but still I want more time. Is that selfish of me? I don't know but I will pray for this and leave the rest in Gods hands.
Bryon
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
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2 comments:
My heart weighs heavy for you Bryon. Even though I only met the two of you one time, I have been talking to Marilyn online for a few years and feel so sad that she is going through this. I am keeping you both in my prayers. Please please send her my love. Your sister in Christ,
Marissa
We all continue to pray for you Bryon. Our hearts groan with you.
Steve and Jenny
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