Beating the Clock

May 31, 2006

Marilyn is in a race against time. These words continue to ring through my mind like a song that you can’t make go away. But the reality of them rings true each time I watch Marilyn struggle to complete another exercise or execute some menial task most would take for granted.

These are the words the doctor impressed on Lyn and I as we sat in his office on Friday morning engaging in an hour of consultation. Many of words were encouraging with hope and reason to press on. Some of his comments were scary. There are no guarantees – simply the need for much concentrated work, both on our part, as supporters, and of course for Marilyn.

Our main concern for Marilyn – Does she have the will to continue? – AND – Will she have the strength? She not only needs physical strength, but even more importantly, mental and spiritual strength. The spiritual component is a natural for her. This shows loud and clear as she often prays aloud for strength to endure the pain during the rough times. However, her mental powers and ability to think positively and rationally often show signs of great fatigue and weakness. I often feel that much of her disability stems from this.

I do, other hand, feel significantly encouraged with her steady but gradual physical improvements. Listening to the comments of visitors who don’t see her every day assures me that ground is being gained in this area. Also, I see a gradual shift towards internalizing some of the family’s wishes and goals for herself. Will this be enough to win the race? Only time will tell. Often, I have no idea what to pray for or how to think but lately God has impressed many scripture passages on me concerning waiting on the Lord. This is hard, when one wants quick results. I will work toward this as my own personal goal.

The last few days I have been blessed with help from both Lyn (my stepmother) and Shirley (my sister) Both Marilyn and I have appreciated them immensely. They have allowed me to have a break that will surely bring energy back for the long road ahead. This weekend we will drive out to Creston to help Lyn take care of her place. The change of pace and scenery is something I am looking forward to. Hopefully I will be able to offer help in the opposite direction instead of just being the receiver.