Where would I be without friends?

April 30


I have been struggling with my emotions the last few days. Everything from Anger to sadness to discouragement. I have been asking God for some Joy but none has come lately. A few minutes ago I got off the phone with a good friend of mine - Dale Biebrick. It was hard to talk with the tears welling up in my head but listening was helpful. Just knowing there are people praying helps a lot.



I went back to church today - I say went back because it has been such a long time since I have been there. With Marilyn unable to go the last 4 months I think I've only been twice. Good excuse - people will understand (and they probably do) - so I told myself. But I'm not going to church because of who I might see. It is a place to meet with God on a deeper level. And for a brief moment I felt joy. It was a good feeling.



Most of my time with Marilyn the last few days she has been sleeping. Partly because it tires her so when she must attempt to sit and stand, and partly due to all her pain. I know she feels discouraged too, even though she rarely shows it - sometimes it creeps up on her and she can't keep the tears back. In one of those moments yesterday, I asked "What can I do for you". Her answer was - "I just want so much to be well."



If I could make her well I would in an instant. I watched today as she valiantly tried to sit up on the edge of the bed. I could see the pain see felt and wished so much for relief for her. After making it up about 3/4 of the way on two tries she then lay down. Her legs shook violently for 10 minutes or so as she rested. That was all she could manage until tomorrow. It was progress - and that is good - even if just a tiny amount.



Is the radiation working? That is a question I wish I had an answer for. It is supposed to help lesson the pain. I think the answer to that is still down the road. There is much to pray for.


Thank you for standing with me in prayer.


Bryon