- "28 Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
Even though I did my best to keep busy, keep my mind occupied and lend a helping hand to all around me, at the end of the week a deep empty feeling hit me hard as I closed the door behind me sat down in an empty house on a Friday evening realizing that I had no planned activities to rush off to. All I had was a house full of dirty laundry, unclean dishes and a floor that desperately needed vacuuming. There were no messages on my phone, everything was silent. I must admit I began to feel very sorry for myself. Looking back on the week I began to think only of the hard times. Times of missing Marilyn, the constant reminders everywhere of her willingness to sit and listen to my troubles. The tears began to flow as I sat wondering how I would be able to continue on. My times back at school had been good, but as usual, not everything had gone my way and in this moment of silence the only thing I could focus on were negative.
Getting out of bed Sunday morning was a quite a chore. I was lying in comfort, writing this blog and the negative thoughts seemed to be in control as I wrote. But deep down I knew I needed to push myself into action, get up and dressed for church. Between the last paragraph and the one you are currently reading, I managed to force myself into the shower and slip into my usual spot in time for the opening welcome. The music (as usual) was nothing less than wonderful and I sank down in my seat to get comfortable as the Pastor began to speak. No sooner had I almost drifted off into oblivion when I heard the familiar verse I had been contemplating all week. The words of Matthew 11:28 shot at me like a cannon. The pastor had and held my attention for the remainder of the service. God has an amazing way of reminding us what we need when things are tough. All week I had been asking God to "lighten my load", and by Friday only felt that I was getting ready for collapse.
In this busy crazy world we live those times of silence are absolutely necessary. My telephone wasn't ringing for a reason, my lack of plans and time alone - a needed refuge. As I sit again with my laptop, finishing the blog I started this morning, all is silent again . I am welcoming the silence this time because it means I can have some precious alone time with God. I can sit and think of the blessings that have come my way this past week. The many kind words from students at school, invitations for meals and the yard work I have finished before the snow flew. Looking out at a yard now bare of blooms, and branches, also brown and bare - instead of seeing the drab negative side of fall, I understand that like me, these plants need a time of silence to rejuvenate. Soon they will again display their splendor for all to enjoy. And perhaps I too will find soon again begin to find new purpose in life.
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