Today is Sunday. The last time I went to church was with Marilyn, she only lasted through the first few worship songs before the pain and stomach cramps forced us back home. Today, I am hoping that Marilyn will be able to join us in reality and come back from La La Land where she has been residing for the last 72 hours. Today will be the last time she will see my sister, Shirley for a long time as she heads back to NY on Monday. It will be a difficult good-bye. Both she and Gary have been invaluable to us this last week.
I needed a break from all the stress so yesterday after a short visit with Marilyn we headed off to K county to some of our old favorite haunts. Shirley enjoyed the trip back to her beloved mountains and I loved the serenity. It gave me a chance to think and reflect. I thought back of the many wonderful times our family had spent together on picnics in the summer. The time I watched in horror as my oldest son careened down a mountain path with abandon only to stop short just before a 100 foot drop off into Elbow Falls. Yes those were the good times. Times I will never forget. Times that now bring our family close together.
I don't know if I will ever be able to reminisce about the old times again with Marilyn. I don't even know if she really even knew who I was yesterday. the doctors say that the days to come will tell the story. I know that Shirley, who works daily with an Alzheimer patient is concerned that this might not change. My heart aches with pain to even think of this and tears fill my eyes, as I pray for Marilyn's mental recovery.
Tomorrow the family will meet with medical staff and I pray that Marilyn will be able to contribute. This is her life we are discussing and everyone should be able to have a say in their own destiny. I don't look forward to next week at all but perhaps God has some lessons He wants me to learn. I decided that with all the goings on and stress the past few days I just couldn't face school. I do love the children, their chatter and innocence. I love to help them learn and answer their questions but tomorrow I need to focus on family so I have called in a geed friend and retired teacher who I know will stand well in my place.
I know I don't have to ask for your prayers because I feel them already. Many of you have been so faithful to read my blog and comment. Being alone next week may be what I need even though I am dreading it. I do need think and meditation time and pray that God will meet me there.
XOXO
Bryon
Sunday, September 14, 2008
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2 comments:
Dear Bryon,
It was good to talk to the other night but am sad to read your blog today about Marilyn's condition. I pray Psalm 16:7-9 will be a comfort for you as it has been to me in the past. "I will praise the Lord, who counsels me; even at night my heart instructs me. I have set the Lord always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest secure" (NIV). Be assured of our continued prayers.
Love,
Sheryl (and Dale)
Dear Bryon,
The whole family here are daily bringing you and Marilyn before the Throne of Grace. We are checking this blog daily - thanks for sharing and keeping everyone updated. That has to be a challange to record everything, yet an outlet as well. May God keep you this week and give you wisdom and grace.
Steve and Jenny for the whole Stewart Clan
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